Barnepsykologi

We're still struggling here in the Kverulantinnen household. I'm kind of at the end of my rope, and I think E has really been having a tough time dealing with the rambunctious kids in his preschool group. I'm not sure if he's being picked on. He definitely hasn't been very happy there. Thankfully today was his last day. The teachers put together a nice collage of pictures and a portfolio with his artwork. It will be a long summer--he won't start in the Steiner preschool until 16 August.

He's at a stage where no matter what we do it's wrong. If I try to help him with a zipper he yells at me for interfering, and if I don't help him he yells at me for not helping. He's been wetting the bed almost every night. I've been getting up at the crack of dawn and carrying him into the bathroom to pee, but even so sometimes when I go in to get him at 4:45 or 5:00 or whatever he has already peed. The very worst thing though is that he seems so unhappy with himself. If he feels that he's being criticized he just kind of falls apart.

I feel terrible seeing him struggling with self-worth, perfectionism, and maybe even depression. It's a horrible feeling as a parent. For some reason my response this past week has been a kind of paralysis. I feel so bad about it that I can't focus. KE and I try to give him as much positive feedback as possible, but I know we are hypercritical, even when we make a concerted effort not to be. We are both so uptight about so many things. Sometimes it feels like all E hears all day is "no." That can't be good for a kid, especially one with hypercritical and perfectionist tendencies. It saddens me to think of how tough things are going to be for him emotionally, basically for the rest of his life.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that a biological mix of KE and me would turn out neurotic, but I wasn't prepared for the sense of responsibility and sadness that I feel about it.