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Let's talk about shoes, shall we? I have had a life long love/hate relationship with shoes. My Grannie trained me early to be very aware of stylish shoes (and purses, and wallets...). Some time in college I realized that I was fighting a losing battle with style, and opted out of the whole shoe fetish culture in favor of comfortable, practical shoes. At a certain point, fashionable and so-called "sexy" shoes just stopped looking appealing to me, and instead I was just perplexed over why people continued to wear them.

But that doesn't mean that I went over to the dark side of Footform shoes and Birkenstocks. I actually can't wear Birkenstocks because their insole doesn't even come close to matching the contours of my feet, which always shocks people. Here in Norway shoes, particularly in winter, are even more important. I can no longer just wear various Dansko styles throughout the year like I did back in the Pacific Northwest.

I have made do with some profoundly ugly Merrell winter boots for the past two years. One of my first days at work a Danish colleague took a look at them lying on the floor in my office (I change to indoor shoes at work during the winter) and exclaimed "Sikke børnesko!" (basically "look at these kiddie shoes!" in the mocking tone that Danes use for everything). I was mortified, and ever since I've carried out a low level but intense search for "grown up" winter boots that I can wear on the streets of hipster Oslo without too much embarrassment.

My search has been hampered not only by my problematically atypical feet, but also, it turns out, by my robust calves. It turns out that my calves are about 5cm larger in diameter than the standard for women's boots. I am not a particularly large person, but I am admittedly curvy. But still, if you look at my legs, I'm pretty sure I don't look like Popeye.

This week, I think I finally found the perfect winter boots at the best shoe store in Oslo, Lille vinkel sko.

They're called Albertville, and are made in elegant Italy but designed in Sweden for "Nordic conditions" as they say. They have a natural rubber sole, which is supposed to be good on ice and snow. They are real leather, and what's more lined with real leather, so they stretch and give and breath. And to facilitate the process of squeezing them over my meaty calves, I was given a magic leather relaxer spray, which seems to be helping.

I'm thrilled! Now I can finally wear skirts again, plus I can stop feeling so damned dumpy all winter long...