Puste ut...

I have been hesitant to write because I can't quite get a handle on how I'm feeling as a result of the election. I am, of course, delighted that Obama won. I really like his public persona: I like his seriousness of purpose, his inspiring oratory, his vision for the US, his even temper, and his realism. I'm just so afraid everyone is expecting that he will single-handedly make everything better over night. I thought his acceptance speech was really good. It was tempered and realistic, and it appears that he's trying to contain the limitless expectations now placed on him, while still maintaining people's sense of hope. This opinion piece by Roger Cohen really sums up a lot of what I'm feeling.

As I have been thinking about this election over the past months I would often tear up at the thought of the symbolic value of a black person being elected and sworn in as president, but to my surprise I wasn't really emotional in response to Obama's victory and speech. My primary feeling was that of relief that he won, and concern about the future. I did feel for Jesse Jackson. The emotions on his face showed through so strongly. (And as a side note I was happy to see Sarah Palin looking visibly upset.)

One of my old friends from my high school exchange year in Stange (1983-84!) contacted me on Facebook to ask if I could send him campaign buttons from both sides. I took E with me to the Republican headquarters here in town on Monday before the election, but they were all out of McCain/Palin paraphenalia (something I took as a bad sign at the time). Eventually I just decided to order off the internet from both parties. Both had "value packs": the Republicans offered this, which I'm really looking forward to receiving:

You get 20 buttons for $10, plus an additional $9 for shipping. The Democrats send you a similar pack of 50 buttons for $10, but charge $11 for shipping. Still it's a better deal, since you get more than twice as much propaganda:

I'm not going to think about the discounts that they're all offering today, the day after the election. I have to admit I'm going to pick out a few from both sides to keep before sending them along to my high school buddy (I'm hoping for the art deco one with the palm tree, and the Republican "It's A Girl" one).

I also have to say that I was impressed by McCain's concession speech. He said what he had to say. Now I'm excited to see the transition take shape and to get this Bush joker out of the White House once and for all. In a way I'm sorry that I'm not more elated, not more connected to the collective euphoria that appears to be rampant right now in the U.S. I guess I just see the problems as so profound that I want to focus on them, rather than on the "horse race" of the election.

Last word: It appears that most of the voting went off okay. I haven't read many reports of voter fraud or failure. That to me is almost the best part of this particular election, given the horrible "irregularities" of 2000.

Penger på bok!

Happy November! Yesterday the sale of our house went through, and I deposited the check in our bank account! I'm so totally thrilled to no longer own this house. Our buyers are incredibly easy to work with, and we will be renting back from them until the day before we leave for Norway (16 December is D-day).

We barely got more than our down payment back, but really that's okay. Everyone I've told agrees that we're just incredibly lucky to have sold at all in this market, especially given that we didn't even have to use a realtor or have masses of people come and look--much easier in a family with a toddler who spreads his toys everywhere.

So now we're anxiously eying the exchange rate. Earlier this week the dollar reached 7 crowns, but now it's back down to just over 6. I know the election on Tuesday will probably bump it down significantly. I think KE would have done the exchange yesterday if he could have (we couldn't because we got the check too late in the day on a Friday). I'm kind of interested in waiting and seeing, but there are never any guarantees. This week was a 2-year high I think.

E wore his "James" (from Thomas the Tank Engine) costume to preschool yesterday. He was really proud of it. Things have become kind of a struggle with him. He is so stubborn that he resists everything. I'm starting to get tired of all the battles, especially now when my energy is so low because of my cold.


As you can see, I have been crocheting like crazy with some more of the weaving linen my mom gave me. I finished all the grannie squares for the Häkelbeutel bag and sewed it together today. Now all I need is straps and some kind of lining. And then today is the day I'm supposed to start knittng the hat for my mom's birthday next weekend...

Drømmepresidenten

I realize that I'm posting way too much these days, but I'm finding this a very useful place to record what I'm thinking about. Last night I watched Barack Obama's 30-minute informercial. When I first heard about it I was very skeptical and thought it was really over the top to buy 30 minutes of political advertising in prime time. I found it pretty interesting and not creepy at all. In fact there was a moment when he spoke about stories that I found incredibly moving. Basically, he says that everyone has a story, and that he wants to learn from those stories to make the U.S. a better place.

As a literature professor and someone who specializes in prose fiction, I am obsessed with stories. I always say that we tell ourselves stories to make sense of ourselves. It appears that Obama has really tapped into this notion of the American story as a tool for helping people feel better about themselves and their country. It can of course be a dangerous tool of propaganda, but with altruistic intentions, I do think that Obama's mastery of narrative could actually improve the morale and reputation of this country. At least I really hope so.

And then, of course, I had a very vivid dream about talking with Obama and telling him my story. It was very comforting. I was in a yarn store (of course) that he made a campaign stop at and I showed him two things: a map of the U.S., where I pointed to Bellingham (my home town) up in the very far northwest corner, and then my Dad, who was lurking in the background with massive amounts of camera equipment. I can't remember what Obama said, except that it was comforting and I felt understood, respected, and valued.

Flaut

So now I feel silly for the whining and whinging in my previous post. I really have nothing to complain about. My colleagues are all fine. We're not best buddies, but they're all decent and intelligent or at worst benign. I can't expect to have the easygoing and deep friendships I had at my previous job everywhere I go.

I knit these pointy toed rainbow socks for E to make myself feel better (note to self: the round toe that works wonderfully on my foot is not appropriate for a toddler sized sock!):


I love them in all their pointy stripy silliness.

Now if only I could sleep. I'm having an insomnia night. Hence the updated look on the blog. I think it looks better (being a lover of mousey colors), and I can now follow my favorite blogs more easily.

Uønsket?

Is it just me, or is it weird that not a single person here at the university I work at has expressed any regret over the fact that I'm leaving? My only real complaint about the job here has been that I haven't made the kind of close connections to colleagues that I had a ton of at my previous job. Mostly, I have blamed that on myself, since I came here pregnant and newly married. Starting a family took up all my non-work time, so I haven't had the energy to put out for making work friends. But at a certain point things settled down, and I made concerted efforts to connect with people. I did manage to twist a few people's arms enough that they would go out to coffee with me, but the efforts were never returned. So I guess I shouldn't be surprised that no one here is sad to see me go.

But that doesn't stop me from feeling sorry for myself! I feel like I have a lot to offer my friends. I'm loyal and supportive and enthusiastic. I also feel like I put a huge amount of effort into this job. It sucks that no one here recognizes or values that. Sorry for the pity party, but it really hurts my feelings that I've been doing a job for four years that no one seems to care about. When I brought the whole fellowship thing up to my boss the first time his primary reaction was to be pissed off at the extra work my leaving would cause him.

I don't want to pout, and I don't want to leave in a huff. It would just be so nice if someone here at my job would say "I'm sorry to see you go." Rant over.

On the upside, we finally finished our Twin Peaks marathon. Loved, loved, loved it. I had to reserve Fire Walk With Me at the library just to get the full package. I know it's supposed to be really bad, but I'm just not ready to let go of the series. Oddly, episode 17 from season two is missing on CBS.com. Hmmm. Mysterious. It gets rave reviews online, so I'd really like to see it.

And we got off pretty easy with fixing up the house to sell: under $700 for all electrical and plumbing work. Luckily the buyers had put a clause in the purchase contract that capped what we would have to pay at $1000. I thought I'd have to go over that, but they stuck to it, and didn't want to split costs for more work that they had originally hoped to get done. Yay! Closing this week, if all goes well.

Manisk

I can't control myself! I don't want to work. I don't want to take care of my house or family. I just want to knit, crochet, read about knitting, read about crocheting, look at yarn, and think about all of the above.

Clearly I'm attempting to avoid reality, and reality is pretty overwhelming right now: We're selling our house and moving overseas. My father is very sick. My husband is stressed out. My mother is sad that we're leaving. My son is in constant need of attention. I have students expecting me to guide and advise them competently. I have friends with whom I want to maintain friendships. I'm going to be starting a new job in a foreign country. Argh. There's just so much to deal with!

So, instead we have:


This is made out of left over linen that my mother gave me, improvising a pattern out of Erika Knight's Simple Crochet. It makes me very happy, even though it doesn't really have much of a function.

Then there's this:

Or, rather more accurately, these:

Which are the grannie squares for the "Häkelbeutel" purse that I failed miserably at last month. I won't have enough yarn to finish it, and I am too cheap to buy more, so why even bother? Manic behavior. But ah, the triumph of mastering the evil "grannie square." What I didn't understand before is that, unlike in knitting, in crocheting you don't make the stitch into the stitch below, but rather below the stitch below (if that makes any sense). It changes everything.

And then the German sock yarn (Trekking XXL, purchased used from a Raveler) for making the Drops "rillejakke" arrived in the mail the day before yesterday, and it is so gorgeous that I absolutely had to drop the Lattice lace pullover (which I'm finding rather demoralizing since I'm convinced it will be too small) and start knitting. It's kind of a midnight blue with various blue, teal, and purple highlights. I'm really enjoying the easy garter stitch. Very therapeutic for my addled mind...


And if that's not enough I spent a lovely afternoon with my mother yesterday deciding on her birthday present. I'm going to -- what else? -- knit her a hat. After visits to three different yarn stores we settled on three skeins of this (O-wool Balance, 50% merino 50% cotton, all organic in a color called "Ruby"):


I did manage to work my way through my mail-in election ballot, and turned it in today. I also finally managed to call a plumber to set up an estimate for the plumbing work that needs to be done before the sale of the house goes through. And after a reminder, I faxed a form over to the title company. Little by little I do a few things, but mostly I just sit in a fog, frantically manipulating needles.

Å herregud

I try to be a nice person, but fundamentally I'm just pretty cranky. Case in point on Friday. I walked across campus for a meeting and my path was blocked by two young women distributing copies of the Book of John. I politely said no thank you and went to the meeting. When it was over I passed them again, and again they went out of their way to get in my way. I swerved around and when one of them asked me if I wanted a copy of the Book of John I said (shaking my head, and with a fairly aggressive tone of voice) : "Pack of lies. Pack of lies!" and kept walking. She shouted back (indignantly): "Ummm, I beg to differ! It's a pack of truth!"

Sigh. What a terrible attempt at communication on both parts. I know I had PMS. Maybe she did too? Either way, it doesn't bode well for peace, love, and understanding in the world. I've just reached a saturation point with proselytizing, and can't even bear to be confronted with it any more.

When I was at a conference last week I shared two 3-hour drives with a colleague who is a professor of religious studies and a life-long, and very dedicated Christian. We had the most wonderful and open conversations about belief and non-belief. I think we both are left with an uplifting feeling of having learned and shared on a pretty deep level. I was so happy to hear him say that he thinks doubt is the only defensible position as a Christian. I don't think I'm anti-belief per se, since it's one of my favorite things to discuss with people I respect and know, but I just can't abide complete strangers shoving it in my face.

While waiting in the airport on the way to that same conference a woman with a "We Need Alan Keyes" button sat down next to me and another guy. They guy looked at the "Boycott MacDonald's" form she was filling out and asked her about it. It turns out her "reason" (in the loosest sense of the word) was that MacDonald's is pro-gay and holds meetings to encourage its employees to become gay. Seriously. He asked her if she was voting for McCain and she said "No way! He's not pro-life" (last time I checked McCain is running on a firm pro-life platform, but who am I to correct this lady?).

She and the guy started exchanging comments about how horrible homosexuality is, and then out of the blue she turns to me (who is diligently knitting and trying to avoid eye contact with the nut jobs) and tells me I need to go see some movie that will "improve your marriage." When I say I don't think I'll do that she goes on the attack "Why not? Don't you want to improve your marriage? I went and it improved my marriage." Not a word about whatever religious message is in the film, because then it would be obvious that she's pushing her religion on strangers, but you have to know the film is religious. To satisfy your morbid curiosity I'm linking to a Christian website that has a description and trailer of the film, which is called Fireproof.

From there the woman went on a rant about how liberals are supposed to be so tolerant, but they're really more closed minded than everyone else. Well, yeah. She's right. I wasn't going to listen to her, so I moved to another seat. I am intolerant. I'm sick of the crap these people spew at complete strangers.

What I don't get is how these people, who know absolutely nothing about who I am, what I believe in, or what my life is like continue to think it's okay to just launch into me. And then if I choose not to drop everything and bow down to whatever cockamamie attitude or deity they're buying into, they get all huffy. What a totally weird way for people to spend their time...